These days, the idea of a relationship attracts a million and one different online articles talking about what you need to do to be in the perfect relationship. Instead of simply following our hearts, letting come what comes, we go out chasing something with a specific list of how it must be. And much of the time, we’re let down. Or so it seems.
The title of this piece isn’t to suggest that single is better, it’s about neutralizing both experiences. Single or in a relationship, neither is better, they simply are two different experiences, and the truth is, if you want to be happy and at peace, you must BE YOURSELF and find peace in both scenarios.
It almost appears that we, at least in the west, are obsessed with finding ‘the one’ and the ‘perfect relationship.’ Sure, marriage is happening less these days, but we still sit thinking about how everything must be in a relationship for us to be happy. But have we ever questioned the purpose of a relationship? What we get from it beyond just the joys of sharing life with someone? What about the growth? Challenging one another? Having them push our buttons so we can see ourselves more clearly etc.
Why at the end of relationships do we commonly end up hating the person we were with? Why is it then normal to want to avoid them like the plague? Simple, because we don’t want to face our feelings about it. We’d rather suffer than move through the challenges and find peace. It’s interesting because for all the stuff it seems we choose to go through in how we approach relationships, you’d think people would want to be alone more. But we don’t.
Why are we so afraid to be single? To be ‘alone?’ Are we truly even alone? Or are we just not sharing a physical space with another? Most of us have friends, family and co-workers we see regularly, so is not being in a relationship truly being alone? That depends on you, your definition and your lifestyle.
Taking time to be alone, even if in a relationship, is quite important. I have run a challenge for the past 4 years that asks people to take 1 hour of alone time each day, in that time you can’t see people, use phones or electronics etc. The point is to be with YOU. Ready for the shocker? This challenge has single handedly got me thousands of bits of “this changed my entire life” feedback, even more so than many of the other things I’ve done since founding CE. Why? Because it’s simple and it’s what we need to be doing to understand ourselves.
What is this idea of discovering who we are by spending time alone and going within? Does it mean moving to the far away reaches of nature to move away from everything and everyone? Does it mean 5 minutes in the morning? That’s for you to decide, but in the end if you are not in a position where you let your mind stop thinking about all the things that are constantly going, you’re not digging deep enough yet.
When you do get to this space, it’s now about exploring how you feel, what is in your heart, what you are feeling guided or called to do. When you take actions from this space, your decisions and what you bring into your life is much different than when you simply act from the mind.
The truth is, this type of exploration can happen whether you are single or in a relationship, but you have to make the time for it. One of the biggest struggles I see so many of us in the modern world go through is how we lose ourselves in relationships, and every day life too! No more alone time, not more introspections, nor more reflecting on what we wish to have or do. We move into sacrifice mode and are constantly bending and breaking to fulfill the push and pull of our situation. While some compromise is necessary at times, it’s almost like we’ve chosen to let that idea of compromise take over everything!
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So let’s take some time to reflect. When is the last time you had alone time whether you are single or alone? That means no phone or TV too! When is the last time you checked into your hearts true desires and acted upon those? Are you finding yourself really badly wanting to find ‘the one?’ If so, are you not at peace having not found them yet?
Enjoy the moment, enjoy where you are at. Everything will fall into place as it needs to.
These pictures below are a reminder of some of the freedoms that can come when you ‘have the place to yourself.’
These illustrations were beautifully produced by Mexico-based illustrator Idalia Candelas.
Your life path number can tell you A LOT about you.
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Source Article from http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Collective-evolution/~3/xmzkqRqTN9A/
If you are like one of millions of other people suffering from depression, you’ve probably been told you need to take pharmaceutical drugs because your brain doesn’t work right. It simply doesn’t produce chemicals like serotonin, GABA, dopamine, oxytocin, and endogenous DMT or other tryptamines it needs to for you to feel calm, safe, and happy. “Take this prescription, and maybe this one too,” they tell you, “and we can fix your broken brain.”
Many of us have tried this pharmaceutical approach to our depression or watched people we love try it, only to watch these drugs fail wretchedly. One might argue that it’s not astrophysics figuring out why these drugs don’t work. The FDA approves new depression and pain meds all the time without a modicum of scientific integrity. The sugar pills we are given contain health-harming chemicals that alter our digestive system, damage our delicate nervous system, alter adrenal function and more, but when you are in pain, you’ll do just about anything to stop it.
And so, these medications might relieve some pain after taking a high dose for a time, but somehow depression always rears its ugly head again. And because we’ve been told that our brains are broken and that these medications will fix them, we feel even more flawed when they start to fail us. If you’ve ever been on a maximum dose of an antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication, or watched someone you care about take them only to observe them plummet to new lows, you know exactly what this vicious cycle entails. You know how despondent someone can become knowing that the one thing they’ve been brainwashed to think can help them is now failing.
Here’s the reality, though. That reaction to antidepressants isn’t strange. It’s pretty normal. Common even. Leading scientists are even now finally admitting that the “chemically imbalanced” brain notion is bunk. This fact has largely been proven already in clinical trials of these drugs. They use something called the Hamilton Scale to determine where you lie on a continuum between pure ecstasy and suicidal tendencies. Just as a reference – getting enough sleep can bump up your Hamilton score by 6 points. Eating high quality, organic, plant-based food can bump you up another 6 points on the Hamilton scale. Listening to music you love, or spending time with friends can bump you up several more points – closer to joy and further away from despondency and depression.
And unsurprisingly, the FDA has passed drugs which offer a statistically insignificant rise on the Hamilton Scale (HAM-D), of someone’s overall mood. In some cases, less than a .01 change and the FDA says that the company making the drug can sell it without worry of legal recourse. The FDA’s own guidelines aren’t even clear on what a statistical relevance amounts to, in order to give a drug a green light. Moreover, a drug can be tested an infinite number of times to get a “positive” result – meaning it alters the HAM-D scale, while negative results in the dozens or even hundreds can simply be thrown out.
But none of these facts stop Pfizer from stating in a television advertisement for Zoloft that “depression is a serious medical condition that may be due to a chemical imbalance,” and that “Zoloft works to correct this imbalance.”
All this aside, the chemicals in our brains are only responding to the deeper, more profound reasons that we are depressed. We don’t have “generalized anxiety” or “clinical depression.”We have an epidemic of abuse, poverty, extrinsic value being forced down our throats, and a general disregard for human connection and empathic contact.
Only two of the nine factors which can cause depression are biological.
For example, Professor Tim Kasser in Illinois has done research which points to two important causes of depression. The more your life is driven by extrinsic values, the more you will become depressed and anxious, the more you will live a hollow, unsatisfying life.
An intrinsic motivation to do something would amount to wanting to learn to play the piano because you love the way the instrument sounds, and you want to someday play a little like Beethoven just to challenge yourself. An extrinsic reason to learn to play the piano would be because you feel guilty that your parents plopped down hundreds of dollars for lessons, even though you have no real interest in playing or because it you don’t you won’t be able to pay the rent on your dilapidated apartment with the funds you get from playing in a dive piano bar.
Our society is dominated by extrinsic values. We are constantly being primed to believe that buying, consuming, showing off, or demonstrating how we look on the outside will bring us joy, but this machinery of the advertising industries who want to keep us as consumptive slaves inculcates extrinsic value.
Other non-biological causes of depression? Not having access to fulfilling work, enduring childhood trauma, and living through poverty. We can see an example of this play out in the work of Dr. Vincent Felitti in San Diego who was commissioned to do work on obesity. He worked with people who were extremely obese – more than 400 pounds. Felitti decided to just give them no food for a while, and to support their health while they lost weight with vitamins and nutrients they needed. Participants were medically supervised during this alarmingly simple process. And they did lose weight. People who started out at 400 pounds would get all the way down to 130 pounds. But then something equally as startling happened.
The individuals who lost all that weight just as quickly started to put it back on – within weeks. Dr. Felitti couldn’t fathom what was going on. Until he asked one of his patients, called Susan to protect her identity, some interesting questions. He began with asking when she started to become overweight as a child. Susan said she couldn’t recall, but it was around the age of eleven. Dr. Felitti asked if she could recall anything in particular happening to her at that age. Susan replied,
“Yeah, that’s when my grandfather started to rape me.” Dr. Felitti discovered 55 percent of the people in the group had been sexually abused and had put on weight in the immediate aftermath. What he realized is, this thing that seemed irrational—extreme weight gain—in fact, performed a highly necessary function. As Susan put it to him, “Overweight is overlooked, and that’s what I need to be.”
It turned out many of the obese women had been making themselves obese for an unconscious reason: to protect themselves from the attention of men, who they believed would hurt them. Felitti suddenly realized: “What we had perceived as the problem ― major obesity ― was in fact, very frequently, the solution to problems that the rest of us knew nothing about.”
This begs the question – with massive unemployment, rampant childhood trauma which points to a seven-times-the-risk for depression, and a 4,000 percent increase for drug use, what is the collective psyche telling us about the world we live in? We aren’t brain dysfunctional. Our brains are working exactly as they should – they are alerting us that something is stinkin’ wrong with the world we live in.
Many of us with depression can think back to multiple instances of child abuse, negligence, and abandonment. We were likely raised by narcissistic parents who themselves, were abused. If our parents happened to be fairy-tale perfect, society did its own number on us, either bullying the innocent, exposing us to broken families and rampant poverty, or simply mind-controlling the heck out of us into thinking that because we don’t fit the images paraded before us, we are somehow lacking or inferior.
Our brains are trying to help us live. They become depressed and anxious because they are calling those wounds to the surface so that they can be healed. If we keep medicating them, the wounds will only crash to shore with more vengeance, until we finally understand the Higher Purpose of pain. Just as food can be toxic to our bodies, so can stress. Adverse childhood experiences coupled with real depression-instilling societal norms upheld today have created an epidemic of depression.
As Rumi said, “The light enters where the wound is.” The clinical diagnosis of a “broken brain”is so off, we need a new definition for depression.
Funny how our brains can’t be tricked. Just forcing them to make more serotonin vis-à-vis an SSRI doesn’t magically make unhealed or unprocessed pain go away. It turns out our brains are not only NOT broken, they are genius. They won’t relent, even with Big Pharma’s meds being shoved at them, until we heal our deepest wounds.
Instead of asking what is wrong with us, we need to start healing what has happened to us.
Image Credit: Pixabay
Source Article from https://truththeory.com/2018/02/15/real-cause-depression-completely-overlooked/
Let’s face it: The world is a scary place to be living in right now. Many countries are dealing with serious political instability and the threat of terrorism; economic turmoil is pervasive worldwide; Dr. Margaret Chan, director general of the World Health Organization, has warned that antibiotic-resistance might “mean the end of modern medicine as we know it;” and then we still have to contend with good old-fashioned natural disasters like earthquakes and tsunamis. The potential for collapse is immense, but instead of worrying endlessly, what we should be doing is preparing to face whatever comes our way.
- Hide your valuables: While it might be a good idea to hide your valuables so that they can’t be stolen, it is equally as important to remember where you stashed them. A good idea would be to bury them somewhere in your garden and then take a photo of a family member standing in that spot. Put copies of the photo in the family bug out bags, and make sure everyone knows what they’re for.
- Improve your fitness: Any stressful situation calls for physical endurance, and there is always the possibility that you might have to carry injured people, the elderly or children to a place of safety. So, take the time now to get fit so that you’re up to the task when called upon. You’ll be protecting your health and longevity at the same time.
- Move to the ‘burbs: While convenience might make living in the city an attractive prospect, from a survival point of view it’s a really bad option. In any collapse situation cities become hotbeds of mayhem. Being in a safe area out in the suburbs will be far safer, and will likely save you money on your mortgage in the meantime!
- Rotate your survival foods: While stockpiling food is obviously essential, the problem lies in keeping it fresh and not wasting money on food that goes bad. An excellent suggestion is to keep taking food from one side of your shelf and replacing it with fresh cans or boxes on the other end of the shelf.
- Make sure you’ve got baking soda: Baking soda has a myriad of health benefits, and most importantly, in a survival scenario it will protect your dental health. All you need is to mix half a teaspoon of baking soda with half a teaspoon of water to form a paste, and then use it to brush your teeth. [RELATED: Discover the cancer-fighting properties of baking soda and lemon.]
- Learn about the trees and plants in your environment: Whether you’re making a rope, looking for drinkable sap or simply starting a fire, the plants and trees in your immediate surroundings are an invaluable resource. Start learning about what’s in your area now, and how best to utilize it in a time of need.
- Plan your escape: Everyone in your family should receive SERE (survival, evasion, resistance and escape) training, which involves learning when to rest, move and hide, among other things.
- Be ready to secure your person and property: Civil society quickly disintegrates into violent gangs in a collapse situation, so you need to be able to protect yourself and your family. Purchase things like bulletproof vests and barbed wire ahead of time for this purpose.
- Be careful who you tell: Don’t tell anyone anything they don’t need to know. Someone might inadvertently reveal important information about your plans, compromising your security. Even your family members should be informed on a “need-to-know” basis.
- Make sure everyone knows the escape plan: Since you never know where everyone might be in case of an emergency, every member of the family needs to know exactly where to meet, how to get there, and any other relevant information. Plan ahead and have family drills so you can be sure of exact time-frames.
We all hope we never to have to deal with a natural disaster or other collapse situation, but if you take the preparatory steps above, you will be in the best possible position to keep your family safe. [RELATED: For more tips like these see Bugout.news]